This is now having a very damaging emotional effect on my son who feels whatever he does is wrong. The perpetrator will often label their partner a traitor for trying to end the abuse or support others who are being bullied. I try to tell my husband he is being excessive with his commands and criticism but he just labels me as weak and liberal. There may be some very hard choices ahead, but you all deserve something better than this. Now your older boy is turning into a young man, your husband may feel quite threatened by this, hence his need to constantly criticize and deprive your boy of the emotional connection he needs with his dad. Would you be able to confide in anyone and ask them to support you? I can see you know things need to change. You must understand that you aren't a traitor or disloyal. Whilst my husband is not physically abusive very often, pretty much every time he communicates with my son he speaks to him in a derogatory manner, is very unkind and shows no love or encouragement towards him.
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