Working as a stripper and call girl more than paid for my education — it was an education in and of itself. Give us affordable childcare options and tax credits to support full-time parenting, so that moms like me truly have a choice whether we return to work or stay home with our kids. There's a stereotype that women don't enjoy sex as much as men do, and the men I met professionally often complained about their "frigid" wives. In the meantime, we want commiserations from other women in the trenches and practical strategies for surviving the years. I found all that when I met Arran. Men paid me to sit silently and listen while they complained about their jobs or talked trash about an ex. As author Sady Doyle observed for Elle , mothers are caricatured as either magical or miserable. By the time I met my husband, I was tired of putting men's needs first. We're either — as Doyle puts it— "the glowing, selfless Madonna who spends every minute in rapt contemplation of her child's perfection," or else we are "the harried, frazzled, three-days-without-a-shower woman who tromps through life in sweatpants covered in baby urine and milky spit-up.
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